Did You See That

Oh no, poor Gareth Gates has been voted off Dancing On Ice. It’s such a shame but I suppose if you look at it dispassionately, the other three were superior skaters and were able to perform more advanced moves and maintain speed on the ice. And what’s with Zaara always being in the bottom two, despite being great. Something about that leaves me distinctly uneasy, but I guess she doesn’t really have the fanbase of the others - although I’m not sure what fan base Suzanne would have as I haven’t seen her on TV for years. Hmmm poor Zaarah. Poor Gareth. It’s a tough game, this skating lark.

It’s series 2 of “That Mitchell and Webb Look”, and the guys are back sharper than ever. What do you reckon?

I caught Episode 5 of Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong on Friday night. It really is one of the funniest things on TV. It sets a team of celebrities against “civilians”. The celebs for this edition were Johnny Vegas, Jermaine Jackson (what’s he still doing here?), Sara Cox, Jenni Falconer and Lee Ryan (hubba!). Alan is so funny, managing to say completely outrageous things about the plebs but without actually causing offence. Really, the show is all about him and his humour - the competition and the guests are just a device to let him run riot. The only duff notes are when the civilians try a bit too hard to be funny. Loved this joke:

I got dragged into a lap dancing club in Blackpool. God, it was ropey. One of the dancers had run out of baby oil and was using Febreeze.

If you missed Celebrity Ding Dong, you can catch it again by downloading 4oD.

A clip from across the pond here, as David Archuleta sings Imagine in last week’s American Idol. This guy is seriously talented and will almost certainly win the competition. His version of Imagine reduces Paula to tears, and she calls it one of the most moving performances she’s ever seen. What do you think?

Andy Abraham has won the contest to represent the UK at the Eurovision Song Contest. I last saw him coming second to Shayne Ward on the X Factor a few year’s back, and you’ve got to give him credit for writing this catchy number, called Even If…

I’m sure he’ll do us proud. What do you think of the song?

This episode largely centered around Sid. Now, Sid is inherently a depressing character. Everything about smacks of misery. Unfortunately this misery was compounded by an insight into his awful family, and then finding his dad dead in the armchair. There was some light relief, with Anwar and Sketch being caught using Sid’s bed by his mum, but all in all , this was really depressing episode.

If you want to be depressed too, you can catch the episode on 4oD.

Here’s a clip from the Dragons’ Den archive. Young investor Christian Lane came to the den with his innovative folder, called Foldio, which enables large sheets of paper to be transported without causing a crease. He wanted £80,000 for 15% of his company and then… well rather than me telling you, why not watch what happened below:

Foldio products are now available to buy at Ryman, the stationary store owned by Theo Paphitis. Find out more about the products by visiting the website.

This clip is proving very popular in France right now. President Sarkozy is caught on film telling a farmer to “get lost” and calls him a “dumbass” after his offer of a handshake is rebuffed. I think the effect is lost if you don’t speak French but check it out nonetheless.

When I read in the newspaper that the Osbournes were hosting The Brits, I thought it must have been a mistake. Surely, the job of hosing a high profile live event wouldn’t be left to these amateurs. It sounded like Mick Fleetwood and Sam Fox all over again. But no, it wasn’t a mistake. There they were - Sharon, Ozzy, Jack and Kelly, who was looking a real doppelganger for Director of civil rights group, Libery, Shami Chakrabarti.

The Osbournes, as expected, stumbled and giggled through the nights proceedings with all the lack of  talent you might expect. Andrew Lloyd Webber and Denise Van Outen came on to present an award and tried their hand at comedy to cringe making effect. Mark Ronson got an award for Best British Solo male - apparently the first non singer to ever get the award.

Highlights I guess were Amy Winehouse and Paul McCartney winding up the evening with a good old singalong to Hey Jude.

What did you think of this year’s Brits?

Another great weak of skating, which culminated in Steve and Zaara being in the the skate off. Zaara is actually great so I can only think its her relative obscurity - she had a small role in Corrie - which led to her being bottom two. Paired up with the lovely Fred, they performed again. Fred, as much as I like him, seems only capable of one expression - that of a slight simpleton, smiling for no particular reason. In fact his smile was only lost when he appeared to be held in a choking old by Zaara’s thighs.

Gareth was very good this week, and his unique move was great - far better than Chris’ lazy effort called the “worm” which wasn’t very unique and wasn’t well executed. Chris got great marks again but really it seemed a little too ragged this week and there was one part where his partner seemed to goto grab his leg and it just wasn’t there.

Greg was simply Greg. Jason said he had the “charisma of cardboard” which was perhaps a little bit harsh. He also said he would quit the show if Greg was in the final, which probably helped Greg no end.

I think the judge Nicky has cottoned onto Jason’s trick. Give the lowest mark you can and you’ll be called to talk more, and probably get a pay rise. I think Nicky has his eye on that centre chair for next series!