Did You See That

Ok, so I may be alone in this, but I am persevering with ITV1’s Tycoon although I’m starting to get the inkling that this format is heavily flawed.

In the latest episode, we were told that another business would be “closed down” to leave three left for next week’s live final. In the end, it didn’t happen and all four remaining businesses went through - but the whole concept of closing down any of them is crazy since they were all profit making businesses. Would Peter Jones really close a profitable business because it was making less profit than another? It was understandable in the early weeks when some of the businesses were clearly going no where, but all the remaining businesses seem to have a future as a profitable business and “closing them down” for a TV show is bordering on insane - whatever “closing” them down actually entails considering there are actual people, brands, contracts (apparently), products and intellectual property that will remain beyond the life of the program.

And  it seems the eventual winner is going to be chosen by the public in a phone vote and live final. Why would a tycoon’s success be subject to the whims of a voting public who have seen a heavily edited (and then re-edited/chopped up for a shorter slot)? The winner should be entirely down to their business success and nothing more. I really wanted to like this program and right up until last week I remained positive, but this has descended rapidly into the file marked “dog’s dinner”. Sorry Peter, you screwed up.

ITV1’s Tycoon was much heralded but after two disappointing weeks in the ratings, it was pulled from it’s slot and now has been reformatted as a 30 min show (half its original length) and is showing at 10pm.

I watched the latest episode and I have to say it was actually very entertaining, and Justin was hilarious with his David Brent style approach to running Tycoon tower whilst Peter was away in New York. I’d suspect his lines had all been scripted by Ricky Gervais, if Ricky Gervais hadn’t been made a point of showing us recently how distinctly unfunny he can be.

So, personally, I think this is a great show, but obviously I’m in a minority on this one. So if you saw it and didn’t like it, use the comments to explain why. If you haven’t seen it, visit the website and check it out. You can watch it online and at full screen.

It was week two in Tycoon Tower, as Peter Jones continues to try and create Britain’s next Tycoon.

We started off this week with an X-Factor style look at some of the auditionees who didn’t make it on to the show. There was a predictably wacky range of suggestions, such as making photo frames from the cremated ashes of loved ones and erotic material based on scratch and sniff technology.

Back in the Tower, the contestants were finding mixed success. They got a pep talk from Pete Jones where he told them that “Cash is king. Work harder and make more money”. Not sure if then advised them that lunch was for wimps and greed is good.

Justin is turning into Tycoon’s own David Brent, and his mumbling product pitches made Peter send him off for a one to one session with Paul McKenna. Elizabeth saw this as a great reward and was brought to tears. Week two and the second time she’s cried. The session with Paul McKenna had a great effect on Justin, although they didn’t as far as working out what to reply when someone asks “why would I want to sell your product” - a question that sent Justin to pieces again when Peter asked it in the weekly meeting.

The contestants had a visit from journalists and got to practice their PR skills. Tom naively believed this chance to meet visiting hacks would be a opportunity to sew up a distribution deal for his kids newspaper and was disappointed when it didn’t happen. He later got the chance to show it to the head of a picture agency who slated it and suggested major changes, which Tom accepted without question. He then relied upon a former editor of OK to put a mock up together - not a bad idea in itself - but Peter Jones picked up on the fact that Tom didn’t have much input to give and was happier taking a lead from others.

Peter Jones took Tom down the end of a pier to discuss his fate, which I thought may involve a sleeping with the fishes, but in the end Peter just closed him down and sent him on his way.

I can’t remember how long ago we were told that business was the new rock ‘n’ roll, but I heard it again this week to herald the launch of ITV1’s new business show called Tycoon. It’s some hybrid format pulling together strands from other popular programmes like Dragon’s Den and The Apprentice.

Business giant, Peter Jones, has selected six business start-ups to come and work in “Tycoon Tower”, on London’s south bank. Each startup aims to be the most successul business of the group and their prize is to claim the profit generated by all of the companies as their own.

The Contestants

Cathy and Helen had an idea for garden-wear and accessories aimed at female gardeners, which they called Girley Gardens. Peter thought that their focus was too narrow and asked them to rebrand with a more universal concept - “sod” was their reply and he loved it.

Justin’s business was to produce plastic bag dispensers which would make it easy to carry round and then reuse carrier bags. He was hampered by his habit of turning to jelly when Peter Jones was in the room and needing to phone home for support

Tom wanted to launch a free student newspaper called Snap. He failed to impress with his amateurish mockup and by not admitting that there was a competitor in the marketplace in the form of a newspaper published by Piers Morgan. Peter then, hilariously, described Morgan as ” the biggest, most respected editor in Britain”. Notoriety is not the same as respect. As entertaining as I find Piers Morgan, his reputation as an editor took quite a blow when he was sacked for publishing fake photographs of British troops abusing Iraqi civilians.

Ian lives at home with his nan ordinarily, so I was a little concerned to her well-being when he moved to tycoon towers were 10 weeks to develop a business which aims to import and exclusively sell a radio controlled helicopter. During the show they all get to pitch for additional funds that Peter makes available and Ian got all £20,000 of it to buy stock.

Elizabeth wants to market a vodka based fruit drink but she struggled to come up with a name, stumbling from Vopple to Just Be, and then to Fruka, not before asking strangers in the street for ideas too. Peter was tempted to “close her down” but she got all teary eyed and promised to move mountains for him.

Lauren’s a glamour model with a natural hair extension product. Her image adorned her product packaging and Peter seemed quite taken with it.

The show didn’t deliver any hands-over-the-mouth moments of sheer awfulness as we found in early editions of the Apprentice, and Peter’s pieces to camera seem overly rehearsed, but it was an entertaining  hour and I’m looking to finding out how the contestants do as the show progresses.