Did You See That

I’m a bit of a Neil Diamond fan so was looking forward to this “Audience with” on Saturday night. Diamond didn’t disappoint with a superb mix of classic hits and his newer, critically acclaimed material. I’ve never really seen him in conversation before so it was interesting to see him answering questions. He came across as intelligent, charismatic, intense, funny and sensitive. The show was polished and even the programme titles seemed a tad classier than the usual ITV fayre.

I did feel a bit sorry for Neil Diamond though, as he was probably led to believe his audience would be celebrities - and there were some proper ones - but for the whole, it was some very low ranking celebs. Here’s a run down of some of the faces that stood out, in descending order of their celebrity status in my eyes…

• Dame Judi Dench - Genuine A Lister
• Tim Rice
• Barbara Windsor
• Michael Aspel
• Johnny Vegas
• Germain Greer
• Matt De Angelo
• Claire Balding
• Toby Anstiss
• Dom Littlewood
• =Richy Neville from 5
• =Kris Akabussi

I’ve given Richy Neville and Kris Akabussi joint last place. No offence to them, but maybe ITV should consider a smaller venue if those two warrant an invite.

Search for Neil Diamond at Amazon.co.uk

I had the misfortune of catching And and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway. These two are really becoming groansome.  The thing that I hate most, and it’s always been the case, is the fakery. There was a segment called Ant Vs Dec where they each have a team and had to do some barber shop singing. Three “mystery” judges were brought on - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Jason Donovan, and Ruthie Henshall. Cue looks of shock and disbelief from Ant and Dec. “Oh no, we didn’t know it was them”. Course you didn’t, boys. You’re only Executive Producers on the show. Why would you know who was coming on for a major part of the show. And I guess you must have avoided them in the green room too. This show has always relied on this ridiculous idea that they don’t know what’s about to happen to them, whilst still offering them up as “Excutive Producers”. They mostly get away with it because they do have a history as actors don’t forget, but it’s getting cringeworthy and they actually looked bored with it themselves.

When I read in the newspaper that the Osbournes were hosting The Brits, I thought it must have been a mistake. Surely, the job of hosing a high profile live event wouldn’t be left to these amateurs. It sounded like Mick Fleetwood and Sam Fox all over again. But no, it wasn’t a mistake. There they were - Sharon, Ozzy, Jack and Kelly, who was looking a real doppelganger for Director of civil rights group, Libery, Shami Chakrabarti.

The Osbournes, as expected, stumbled and giggled through the nights proceedings with all the lack of  talent you might expect. Andrew Lloyd Webber and Denise Van Outen came on to present an award and tried their hand at comedy to cringe making effect. Mark Ronson got an award for Best British Solo male - apparently the first non singer to ever get the award.

Highlights I guess were Amy Winehouse and Paul McCartney winding up the evening with a good old singalong to Hey Jude.

What did you think of this year’s Brits?

Well, after weeks of banging her head on the ice, tripping up and getting slated by the judges, Aggie was finally put out of her misery tonight. The relationship between her and Sergei looked genuinely touching, but for her own safety, it really was time for her to go.

Ruthie Henshall is starting to get up my nose a bit too. I know its almost like she and Jason (the two who aren’t Ice dancers) are judging performance whilst the others judge skating, but that’s rubbish because experienced ice skaters know that performance is encompassed in the routine so there’s no need for a distinction between the two.  I have the least respect for Ruthie’s scoring.

Yet again, Chris Fountain knocked it out of the park. He just makes it look so easy. Gareth Gates, with his slick hairdo (which is actually a big improvement), was good but you can tell he is lacking speed on the ice at the moment and not quite in Chris’ league. I really enjoyed Linda Lusardi’s performance and she has a great bond with her partner. Steve Backley joined Aggie in the skate off. Steve seems like a nice guy but his performances don’t do anything for me, and Jason’s comment that it was a shame they couldn’t get rid of both of them was funny and had a ring of truth about it.

Who do you think did a great job this week?

Week Three of the nation’s favourite celebrity ice dancing show, and the competition continues to hot up.

Chris Fountain, who was caked in make up, did a brilliant job and even managed to skate on one foot whilst he had his partner lifted. Gareth Gates did a really good job but something about him says to me “top 3″. I don’t think he has what it takes to win this competition. Michael Underwood has sadly pulled out after breaking his ankle, and came on for a quick blub about that. I was pleased to see Fred Palascak come back to accompany the understudy celeb - Zaraah Abrahams from Coronation Street. It looked like Fred was gone for another year after Sarah Green’s early exit in Week One, but fate has been kind to us and he and Zaara put on a great display.

Greg Rusedski wore a tux and managed to live out some naff James Bond fantasy. Jason’s comment that it was a good idea to latch on to a persona to make up for his lack of one was cruel, but true. Aggi was her normal wobbley self but I think her plea to the viewers to keep her in so she can spend more time with Sergei may have resonated with some generous voter.

The skate off this week was between Samantha Mumba and Steve Backley, with all the judges backing Steve to come back next week.  It was sad to see Samantha Mumba - who I refer to simply as “Sam Mum” - in the bottom two again. She seems a nice girl and certainly not the worst skater, so it’s a shame she didn’t have the fan base to keep her in.

The media were invited to Pinewood studios today where the title of the next Bond film has been announced - “Quantum of Solace”. The ITV lunchtime news had a report which included some sneak previews from the forthcoming film…

What do you think of the title? It doesn’t exactly roll of the tongue but I’m sure we’ll get used to it!

Week 2 of Dancing on Ice, and our wobbly celebrities were back on the ice. Tim Vincent seemed a hundred times better than last week. His reward for this? Lumped in the bottom two with Natalie Pinkham (who?), although he survived to fight another week.

Last week I suggested Greg dance to Monster Mash. This week, Jason referenced that song too. If you’re reading Jason, try and get your own material! Greg does look awful on the ice though, and I can’t see him being able to progress too much further.

Chris Fountain and Gareth Gates were both excellent, and it will be interesting to see who has the bigger fan base as competition get to its later stages.

Linda Lusardi scored a 6 from Nicky, though he claimed this was a mistake. I thought maybe it was another clumsy attempt to cop off on TV after his romantic poem for Sarah Green last week.

What did you think?

This was the first night of an interesting new double act on ITV1.

Moving Wallpaper was a comedy following the creative team, under the lead of producer Jonathan Pope (played by Ben Miller), developing a new soap called Echo Beach. Their fruits of their labour was showing directly after.

The show reminded me a bit of Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive, but whereas that interspersed the production and the product (as has been seen elsewhere), this seeks to create two separate programs which should both be able to stand on their own two feet.

I got a few laughs out of Moving Wallpaper. The headbutting of Michael Grade’s photo, the Simon Cowell references and using the Soap Awards categories as plot guides got a chuckle. Echo Beach - a sort of Hollyoaks by the beach - fared less well. I couldn’t give it any emotional investment because I was too busy looking for any gags which might link it back to Moving Wallpaper, such as Martine McCutheon’s dress. You could get away with it as an after lunch soap, but it’s not funny enough as a comedy or credible enough as a drama to warrant a 9.30pm scheduling.

Interesting experiment, but I hope it doesn’t go on too long.

What did you think?

In tonight’s semi final of the X Factor, Niki left the competition. Earlier in the evening she gave a belting performance of One Moment In Time. It sounded rough round the edges to my amateur ears.

Leon was back to his cringeworthy embarrasing worst, but somehow made it through despite some ropey vocals and a stiff first performance, and some terrible dancing in the second. Same Differerence gave us the bullying sob story and are through to the final.  Well, could we have an X Factor final without one of Simon’s acts? It is his show after all!

Rhydian was on top form, singing two of the songs which really his voice is made for: Bridge Over Troubled Water and You’ll Never Walk Alone.

Michael Buble was the special guest, and was terrific as usual. What a swell guy! He got some bad publicity in the week but he came across as so personable and seemed to take a real interest in the acts.

BTW, Dead Dad Niki is a cruel nick name but the makers of the show really seemed to have traded on it, as they have done with any sob story they can find.

What did you think? Did the right person go?