Did You See That

Well, after dragging the story out for what seemed like forever, Ronnie found out that Danielle was her daughter, only for her to be run over and killed a few seconds later. No doubt the Eastenders writers thought they were being smart and clever, making this storyline lead to some Shakesperian tragedy. But the truth is, soap watchers invested their time in seeing this develop. Danielle may have just been a plot device to them, and a prop for the character of Ronnie. But to many viewers, this one included, Danielle wasn’t a prop - she was a lovely character who had a bucket of shit tipped her on at every turn by these sadistic writers. And in their final slap in the face to Danielle and the viewers who followed her, she was allowed just a second of happiness - the briefest of smiles as Ronnie finally acknowledged her as her own daughter - being before being run over. They couldn’t bear to allow viewers the happy reunion they had been waiting for.

And so we carry on now but next time Eastenders tries an involving storyline, just remember not to care too much because these writers won’t respect how much you like the characters and get to know them - they’ll kill them off in whatever silly, absurd “twist” that gets their rocks off for them.

At the end of the “reveal” episode, they ran a helpline for those affected by the issues in the program. I wonder if there was a rush of calls from people who also had their adopted kids run over in front of them.

Oh, and since then, Peggy has gone from the council candidate spouting “family values” to gangster matriach, demanding Phil murder Archie and then furiously chucking him out for not doing it. More absurd writing from the Eastenders team, just to prove that their cock up in killing Danielle wasn’t a fluke - they are serially in-ept.

Unless you have been living on another planet, you can’t have escaped the furore surrounding Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand. Yes, I think they were wrong but what a feeding frenzy over what wasn’t really that big a deal and should have not been aired by the producers. Radio 2 presenters have been giving their reaction and a devastated looking Jeremy Vine says he says he will be interested to see how Jonathan Ross can come back from this - with his tone inferring that he shoudn’t - and saying he hopes Ross has apologised to the now ex-controller on whose watch this happened.

An edgy comedian pushing the limits sometimes needs to be reined in but I don’t think that in itself damages the BBC’s credibility. What does do enormous damage to the BBC’s credibility is when serious programming - such as the Election night coverage - reduced to an absolute joke by Jeremy Vine and the computer graphics department with cringemaking displays that embarrass us all. So on the topic of apologising, Mr Vine, how about you say sorry for making the once might Beeb look absurd with your awful election night performance?

Just in case you missed it…

It was a night of finals last night. Over on ITV, George Sampson won Britain’s Got Talent, and on BBC1 , Jodie became Nancy on I’d Do Anything. I haven’t really followed I’d Do Anything but did get into it over the last two weeks.

I wasn’t sure who I wanted to win - but was probably learning towards Jessie. It seemed like she could have been a unique Nancy, and her duet with the Oliver last night was really great. Samantha, who went out first last night, seemed almost too strong to be Nancy. Stunning to look at, she has a kind of icy determination, and such poise that I wondered if perhaps she couldn’t capture Nancy’s vulnerability. Later on in the show, there was a collaboration between Samantha and the other runner former contestants as they performed Never Forget by Take That. All the rest had a look on their faces like “I hope you’re looking at me”. The look on Samantha’s face is more “I know you’re looking at me”. I actually think she could easily be a successful pop star.

Coming down to Jessie vs Jodie, I did think Jessie would edge it and she had the support of both Andrew Lloyd Webber and Cameron Mackintosh, who described Jodie as the “film Nancy” (and Jessie as the “Dickens Nancy”). And maybe it was being the “film Nancy” that swung it for her as we’ve all seen the film and maybe we just saw Jodie as being able to slot into that role more easily. Anyway, well done to Jodie who should be on the West End stage later this year.

A streaker briefly interrupted proceedings at the Snooker World Championships yesterday. The clip below shows a glimpse of the action. The BBC seem like some prudish nanny determined to cover the eyes of the children by cutting away from the streaker and staying on Dennis Taylor until it was all over. Let’s not condone it for sure but come on, lighten up - it’s kinda funny to see an eccentric in action. By the way, I used to love the Snooker but have to say how cheap it looks these days with their new sponsors logo all the place.

Ok, I’m going to take a break from my usual ponderings on reality shows and soaps to discuss tonight’s Question Time special, in advance of the London elections next week.

Boris Johnson, despite being famed for his TV appearances, has seemed to struggle in the televised debates so far. But with tonight’s QT being probably the final big set piece debate, he saved the best for last. He made his point well, and was sharp and punchy in laying into the Mayor’s record. He maintained a seriousness throughout which defied his critics, whilst still managing enough colourful flourishes of language to remind you what a great character he is.

Ken Livingstone looked to me like a beaten man. His head was down and went through the motions with a few quips, but he was on the backfoot for much of the debate although he warmed up a bit towards the end. Although the debate between the two was strong and occasionally barbed, you could also sense some mutual respect and they left the stage arm in arm, such was their bonhomie!

Their generally good natured debate was occasionally punctured though by the malevolant presence of the Lib Dem candidate, Brian Paddick. For a start I’d have to question why he even gets invited along to all these televised debates. His share in the opinion polls is a long way behind the main two - he clearly won’t be the next Mayor - so why does he warrant a place on the debate any more than UKIP or the Christian Choice! But far from be grateful for his unjustified slot on national TV, he instead reeked of arrogance. He also took the debate to new lows when the question of morals came up and he said that Boris’ family couldn’t trust him. It was a horrific cheap shot and there an audible groan from the audience. Brian presents himself as a man of impeccable morals - presumably his ex wife knew he was gay when they got married then? I don’t think Paddick did himself any favours with his mean spirited bitchiness.

My own view, for what it’s worth, is that Ken himself often comes across as likeable and, yes, even competent but I don’t think it can be disputed that he and his supporters have used the politics of division in London and I hate to see that approach prosper. It is surely time for a change. I think Boris Johnson is just the new broom that London needs, hopefully bringing in a new style.

Did you see the debate? What did you think?

After a reshuffle of the teams, they were told they would have to come up with some new ice cream flavours, and sell them to retail buyers. Lucinda was to lead Alpha and Claire was put in charge of Renaissance, with the ticking off she got from Sir Alan last week still ringing in her ears. Claire seemed calmer than in previous episodes and although the editing led you to think the other team were cruising a victory (a sure sign in fact that they weren’t), Renaissance did snatch some last minute deal which pushed them across the winning line.

Lucinda had managed to do a seemingly good job of leading her team, although I was shocked by her behaviour in the boardroom. She said that she had been told by Helene that Jen was “a snake” and “evil”. I mean, who would repeat gossip from a private conversation - if it was ever even said - like that in public. It was embarrasing for all involved. It was some kind of bitchiness more suited to the playground and certainly diminished Lucinda in my eyes, which was a shame as she had done a reasonable job and could have kept her dignity. It took Margaret Mountford to steer the conversation back to the business.

In assessing the loss, Sir Alan was mostly appalled by two factors: The decision to agree to exclusivity in order to get a deal, although I don’t see how that actually contributed to them losing the task, and the sales meetings that were setup with companies that could make their own ice cream, although I’m pretty sure that the other team did manage to sell to a company that usually made their own so I’m not sure why that in itself was such a crime. Lindi had been made 2nd in charge and Sir Alan decided she was culpable for the errors. I’d liked to have seen more of Lindi, and don’t think Sir Alan’s decision to fire her was the right one.

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This was Simon’s episode. It pretty much charted his downfall with the rest there as merely extras in this tragedy. Simon is what was has been referred to as a grafter but this was his chance to show Sir Alan he could be more than that, and volunteered to be project manager. The task was to set up a photography stand, taking and selling photos to the public.  The team weren’t enthusiastic about Simon taking the lead, but relented to his enthusiasm. After dividing the team in two for the separate duties, he asked Alex to be his number two on the other team. The thought of any responsability (culpability?) seemed to leave Alex reeling and Claire stepped up to the place instead. I can’t take Alex seriously anymore after he negotiated something down by half price last week and called it a “100% discount”.

Simon made a number of grandiose statements which only served to warn us he was heading for a might fall. He told us how intelligent he was. What a good photographer he was. He told the team he “knew” the people that went to Bluewater - the scene of the task - but then confused me by at one poing saying they were like “orange” footballer’s wives and then later saying they were “dowdy”.

Both teams seemed to do ok on taking the photos, and both struggled with the logistics of actually printing the (right) photos. Neither team shone, but Simon’s defeat was sign posted throughout by his authoritative statements of the ridiculous. After some cat fighting in the boardroom, through which Simon kept his dignity and probably the respect of Sir Alan, the inevitable firing was delivered.

Simon said he will probably now go back to installing satellite dishes. I hadn’t realised that was his job - does that mean they abandoned their usual claims to have the best young business people applying for the position? So Simon lost the task, but showed him self to be a thorough decent guy by the end of it.

The Beeb is currently running a funny trailer for Eastenders, with the returning Bianca and her 4 kids taking the role of the “Jackson 5″ and performing “Want You Back” in Walford Market. They achieve a rare feat - getting Phil Mitchell, Sean Slater and Chelsea to actually smile. Seeing Phil smile is a bit unnerving and I’d sooner he gave em a clip round the ear and told them not to dance on his patch.

Series 4 of The Apprentice started last night, and it was great to see the usual mix of ridiculous egos who make grandiose claims about their own abilities and then promptly fall apart at the seems when asked to do something relatively simple like price and sell some fish.

Jennifer claimed to be the best sales person in Europe, and Michael offered this gem: “People say to me you’re arrogant and I say ‘yeah, what are you going to do about it?’”.

In the boys’ team, Nicholas took the blame, and ultimately the sack, for the decision to wrongly price lobsters although the edit showed that team leader Alex played a major part in that decision. They went up against each other in the boardroom, with Nicholas hilariously suggesting that there was a schism in the team between the “educated” and those less so, which Alex took major offence at. Raef chipped in with the pearl of wisdom that he was able to talk to “prince or pauper”, with Alex choosing to take offence at that too.

Sir Alan seemed to be enjoying the class war unfolding but eventually put an end to it by delivering a “big fat F” to Nicholas, who’s only previous experience of failure was getting a B at GCSE French.

It’s brilliant to see the Apprentice back and I can’t wait for the next episode. One thought though: what on earth was Matt Lucas doing on the boy’s team?

I was watching the BBC’s coverage of the budget and was amazed to see Jade Goody pop up in some celebrity vox pops with her suggestions for the budget. Why is the BBC wasting its time, helping with the rehabilitation of the racist, Jade Goody? What does she possibly have to offer in the BBC’s coverage of the budget? I can only think that her agent is extremely well connected.

And why was Andrew Neil - the Beeb’s best political presenter - not in charge of proceedings?All in all a very poor show.